Isn't It Something In Your Eyes
by seren-canis
Summary: This, Sirius Black decided, looking at himself in the grey-smudged full length mirror, was the most surreal thing he had ever experienced. A gender swap fic! Remus/Sirius.


This, Sirius Black decided, looking at himself in the grey-smudged full length mirror, was the most surreal thing he had ever experienced

And Sirius Black had experienced quite a few peculiar things in his thirty-five or so years as a wizard. Some of those things included living for eleven years in a house heavy with dark magic, with cutlery that could sever a finger if not held in the proper manner, necklaces that could strangle you, and paintings that could hex you if you looked at them the wrong way.

He had seen the thousand shimmering lights of the Great Hall's candles, learned to carve and shape magic with his wand, bent the elements and soared through the wind on a wooden broomstick. He had learned his best friend's secret, watched him twist and contort until he was no longer human. He had felt his own body shimmer and shift, watched the world turn black-and-white, and felt the solid earth beneath his heavy feet as Padfoot.

But, he decided with definite certainty, being a dog was absolutely nothing compared to being a woman.

His night-black hair tumbled down his back and reached his elbows. It had been decided that keeping his usual hair, which just-nearly-but-not-quite brushed his shoulders, was too risky as it made him look too like himself. His face was smooth and pale, with absolutely no trace of a five-o-clock shadow and ever so slightly fuller lips. He still had his high cheekbones, a slightly pointed face, and the tiny dimple at the edge of his lips that made him just so. As he frowned at his face, his slim eyebrows knitted and he bared his teeth at his reflection. Hm. His frown looked more whining than sulking, somehow.

He tried his best smile, not the frozen-fake one his parents had taught him to wear on best-robe-occasions, but the smiling grin he had comfortably carried throughout Hogwarts. It was mischievous and care-free, and just so slightly arrogant. There! There it was, as welcome as an old house guest, the care-free grin turning his face into something familiar and himself. It immediately and thankfully dispelled his growing horror that he looked uncomfortably like Bellatrix.

This was Dumbledore's idea, of course. Only he could come up with something so ingenious yet showed off his sadistic sense of humour.

Remus had spent the last months watching Sirius go slowly stir-crazy, and he had had enough. Sirius' restlessness and agitation was slowly turning into something more sinister, he was becoming life-less and passive. The far-away look that Azkaban had painted in his eyes, the haunted grey look of detachment that swirled in his retinas, was returning. Remus knew if Sirius didn't get out soon it would be hard to paint over these painful memories with the pure white of good things. Hell, even with his Order missions and other duties, Remus also felt the languid depression of Grimmauld place seeping into his veins weighing down his heart. He dreaded to think how Sirius felt prowling around Grimmauld Place alone.

So that was how Remus came to corner Dumbledore after an Order meeting one day and demanded that Sirius be allowed outside, somewhere, somehow, or so Merlin help him he was just going to give in and take him out himself.

Dumbledore seemed to consider this for a moment, a thoughtful expression in his eyes, before exclaiming a small "Aha" and explaining what they were going to do.

No one would suspect it. Oh, Sirius knew by now that Peter would have told the Death Eaters about his greatest disguise, the loyal Padfoot, who's existence was once only known by three other people in the whole world. Sirius thought with a wry grin there was probably a bounty on the head of every black dog in London by now. They would suspect Invisibility Cloaks and charms, Disillusioning spells and hiding under Secret Keeper-warded houses. What the Death Eaters would not suspect would be Sirius Black walking freely around London, looking happily like himself (albeit, an entirely different version of himself).

Maybe 'happy' was stretching the truth. Mercifully, all this happened during Hogwarts term-time, so at least Sirius didn't have the humiliation of having Harry seeing him like this. He didn't think he would have gone through with it if Harry could have seen him, no matter how desperate he was to leave the stifling walls of Grimmauld Place.

The only people he had allowed to see him were Dumbledore (who performed the enchantment with an infuriating smile in his eye, which made Sirius want to childishly yank and his stupid white beard), Remus, who watched with apprehension, and Dora, who happily invited herself into the drawing room where the spell was being performed.

"Look, we could be sisters!" she grinned, pulling Sirius in front of the mirror after the transformation was complete.

Through the smudges of the decade old dirt Sirius could see that their faces were indeed eerily similar. They had the same sharp features, same close-pointed lips, the same shade of swirling grey-blue in their eyes. Dora concentrated and her features shifted ever slightly so, mimicking those of female-Sirius. She let out a burst of laughter. When Sirius gave a small smile, their faces cracked into almost identical examples of decades of precise aristocratic breeding. Sirius laughed and turned to look at Remus. Remus was looking between the two of them, a curious expression on his face.

"See, it's not so bad," said Remus, his head resting on Sirius' shoulder and looking at Sirius' reflection in the mirror.

"Not so bad?" said Sirius, incredulous at Remus' ability to stay calm in a situation like this.

"It's only for a few hours. And it means we get to leave the house,"

Sirius pulled uncomfortably at the front of his shirt, a look of distaste of on his face.

"I…this is just so odd. I feel so entirely not myself," said Sirius, wrinkling his delicate nose.

"Well, say something Sirius-like," suggested Remus, who didn't seem merely as distressed as Sirius had hoped.

"There better bloody be treacle tart for pudding," Sirius grumbled.

"Come on, you can do better than that," said Remus brightly.

"I'm going to pull that stupid beard off Dumbledore's smug bloody face next time I see him!"

"Better," grinned Remus, "try again."

"And we better have some fucking good sex tonight to make up for this" he finished.

"There's my Sirius," smiled Remus, still gazing into Sirius' reflection.

"Moony," Sirius sighed dramatically, "don't look at me. I'm hideous."

"You're a girl, Sirius -"

"Exactly!"

"- not some hideous monster,"

"This was a bad idea," Sirius tore away from his own gaze, turning away from the mirror self-consciously.

"Sirius," Remus placed his fingers on Sirius' arms, making him look up, "it's fine."

Sirius avoided his gaze. "Really?"

Remus places his soft fingers on Sirius' cheeks, looking into his eyes. They were the same cloud-grey as always, the one thing the spell had definitely not changed. Remus smiled at him softly, and Sirius felt the delicate beat of Remus' heart in his smooth fingertips.

"Yes, really. I love you Sirius, " Remus smiled. "Man, dog, woman…hell, I even loved you as a smelly, arrogant, teenage boy. A spell isn't going to change that."

Sirius leaned forwards and kissed him.

His new lips felt unfamiliar, and for a moment he felt the surprise in Remus' smile. But this quickly fell away, and Remus kissed him back. The familiar feeling of Remus kissing him was like a warm stream of water down Sirius' back, pleasant and natural and oh so good.

After a moment, Sirius pulled away. He rested his forehead against Remus', and smiled softly.

"I love you, too"


End file.
